Monday, September 12, 2005 by Daryl Goh ·

My mind and my heart are out of sync... I don't think its possible for me to keep it up. I can't keep giving if my actions are not reciprocated. I desperately want to. But I can't. It just feels like I'm being taken advantage of.

I'm reminded of what my mom told me a couple of years ago. About a dream that my aunt had about me. She said that in her dream she saw me being stepped on by numerous people. Maybe I should be more assertive. But I find that I don't have the right to be assertive if I'm not entirely right. I don't like the feeling when people become defensive and shoot back at me for my flaws. So I remain uninvolved at times when I should speak out.

3 years ago, I changed because I was forced to. I think its time I carried on. Its time for another change. Its time to grow up.

There's no more trying tonight

 

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The Visits

The Encouragement

Books I'm Reading

  • The Practice Of The Presence Of God by Brother Lawrence
  • Vintage Jesus by Mark Driscoll
  • A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller
  • A Royal Waste Of Time by Marva J. Dawn
  • Travelling Mercies by Anne Lamott
  • Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller
  • Thriving As An Artist In The Church by Rory Noland
  • The Adventure Of Worship by Gerrit Gustafson
  • Christ The Lord: The Road To Cana by Anne Rice
  • Christ The Lord: Out of Egypt by Anne Rice
  • Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller
  • Sex God by Rob Bell
  • Jesus Wants To Save Christians by Rob Bell
  • Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
  • Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
  • The Wigglesworth Standard by Peter J. Madden

The Journey